what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
