Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
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I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
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