My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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