I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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