So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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