i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
