You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize