She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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