my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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