I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
