I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
