YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
