you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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