whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
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