If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
