I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize