Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I am naked and annoyed.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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