ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
