so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
