Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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