It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I have tasted many bathrooms
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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