my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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