i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
