Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
