a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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