I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
