We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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