if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
