My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
