You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
