tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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