absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
