Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
