My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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