i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
