Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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