Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
