So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
