I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
