Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize