I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
you win again, gameday.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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