What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize