Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize