moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm at about main and main street
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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