A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
