We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
