Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
