Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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