Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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