It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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