You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
