He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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