marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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