I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize