addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
