u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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