Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
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The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
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That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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