You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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