mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
