Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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