you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
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we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
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Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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