she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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