You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
