life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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