if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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