Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize