The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend