There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great