his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me